More feeling/listening time

When was the last time you just went for a walk, wondering, without a goal, just observing how you feel?

The reason why this might seem hard is bc there is actually a lot happening every single day, we just blend it out bc we need to perform and rush from one appointment/meeting to the other.

So when you can’t relax during meditation, might as well jus be, bc you haven’t processed it all yet.

Take more timeouts, just listen in. Once your done with that, you can actually enjoy the present, bc obviously at some point you should actually also shut down and keep the mind from doing overhours (which it likely does already).

Like think of a baby, when sth new happens like big moments, we understand that this influences the kid often for more than a day. However we just go on and on, piling on meetings, life events etc as if nothing happened and on to the next one.

Listen in.

First week back working and a day to yourself

I've not been talking about the last half a year (or potentially longer time period) here on this format, but a a disclaimer for what's to come, I've been going and likely still am going through a burnout.

Why that happened should probably be another post and also all the little steps I've taken so far.

One step or action I continue to focus on and give myself the space to is not to be "efficient or effective" with my spare time. Granted, easy for me to say considering I've been not full time employed recently.

But, I started a freelance gig and potentially will join this or another company in the foreseeable future.

I am writing this after the first week. If there is a book I would be a great fit to write it would be "how to get back into your burnout as fast as possible". Bit of irony here, but I set a meeting myself for Thursday highly underestimating how long it would take me to prep - but I wanted to have the check in at that time to then be able to move on and wrap it up before the week ends. And because I pride myself in being reliable, I worked through the night and only slept 4 hrs.

Self talk: Great first week and healthy habits - you're doing great and have your shit really back in order haha

Ok, I can take it with a smile now and with the more mental space available am actually more able to feel differences from the week before and the week working now. So two main learnings: 

1) wrap up every day, what happened and what's to come tomorrow. I've noticed that the first two days i didnt do that and my mind kept wondering and thinking about the next day. To stay healthy, I don't want my life to evolve around work and especially if I am not at work, not thinking about it or to rephrase: not being able to control when I think about it and having a clear end of the work day helps me with it.

2) No one asked me to make the meeting on Thursday. So don't rush, it does not matter if a day earlier or later. Do good work and it takes however long it takes (yes 80/20 rule, pareto law etc) - just be a bit easier on yourself and don't dig your own whole.


More importantly, I knew that I will make a cut and 100% not work on Friday. This is what I call "Patrik's day" from now on. I will only do what I want to do on that day. I don't care about taxes, errands etc. I might still do them, but only if I decide to do them, but I have 0 responsibilities on that day. This makes me remember that this is what matters. No other shit, just watching out for you and constant reminder that one doesn't need to follow other people's agenda, but just your own.  (yes, more nuanced, relationship, partners etc - but guess you get the point).


Also, been doing yoga again every morning and stretching while also reminding me every day that what matters happens outside of work.

Speak up or accept

Sometimes it helps to just write everything down that's in your mind.

"The mind is a bad place to think. Put words on a paper."

Clarify of what's actually going on.

When you're done. What can you influence, what is out of your control, where can you speak your mind (or actually need to to be in peace) and what thinks will you accept.

Don't keep track of too many things, close the topics by either speaking about them, changing them, accepting them. Otherwise it's gonna tax you.

What I understand re mindfulness

I am just coming from a yoga class. I've been going to the class every once in a while for 5 years now or so. 

Today was the first time I actually managed to go into a headstand. While I made the triangle base, for the first time, I made a little adjustment and felt how I was actually able to balance my body while the feet lost touch with the ground and the legs went higher and higher.

While the feeling was new and it probably all happened within milliseconds, as fast as I was up, I also over manoeuvred and while everything was quite in the room, I didn't slam on the ground, but certainly made everyone aware of my attempt.

And then I just lied there, amazed of this try and that I now know how to actually do it.

Switching gears..

Do you know when there are kids, something happened to them during the morning hours, like they fell, saw a new animal, had a new food whatever and then acted differently/"overdriven" (we would say in Germany)? 


Well, go through your own day. Maybe you don't have a completely new experience every day, but especially when you are "busy", something is constantly happening. A little comment here and there. A little adrenalin rush here. A stressful conversation there. A honk over there. A nice lunch here.

Are you aware of all those different impulses and what they do to you. Or are you just numbing them down?

Are you better aka more aware of what's happening to you than the little kid?


This is basically being mindful to me. Taking a moment, just observing how you fell - how something or someone made you feel. Isn't that nice? We rush through the days, not even aware of what's happening to us.


Take a moment. Breathe. And just be:)

Germans two main channels for news and television

In Germany there is a monthly fee you literally need to pay. This is supporting the two oldest TV channels, so they can act mostly independent and are not required to follow other people's agenda/go for sponsorships.

By now, I think they also have advertisings which they didn't have originally. However, especially regarding the news the two channels make a good job, because it's not about the viewership.

When I have foreign friends watching German news they are like "they have no emotions or reaction in their face". I've never really thought about it until what's been happening over the last years, especially in the US (or at least because I follow that more than others).

But not only the right, also CNN fall into the really bad manners/not tactful conversation/interview style, making big stories out of news whereas in Germany they just read the facts what happened. No opinions added, literally just what happened. They are not there to run an agenda by you or trying to convince you of what they think. It's just news which is a) their job and b) I find it pretty exhausting to filter out the opinions and actually listen to it. Guess you get affected eventually.

So, look for facts, not opinions. Research yourself, don't depend on others. Especially when there is a whole machinery with their own agenda behind.