Don't let yourself be put into a box

Humans are lazy. Not only physically, but more so mentally.

Ok, it's also that we like to know things and what to expect. People like to know what you are known for to get shortcuts, like "I can always go to person X for advice on Y".

Never get put into a box. You are you and only because people have a certain image of you, your value is more than that image. More importantly, don't give yourself that image. Nothing exists, we are all just a bit of dust that's gone soon anyway.

Without sounding too depressing, rather take it from a liberating point of view. Do you. Do what feels right for you. Don't be completely impulsive - or be (I like people being reliable and straight, but that's a different story).

Only because you are known of being good in finance doesn't mean you can't switch to a bouldering career.

Do you. There is no box. Only the mental box and we don't play that game.

Just remember: everyone is trying their best

Not much else to say. When someone snaps at you, writes a bad comment on your Instagram post (not big enough to have that happened to me yet), someone is tricky to be around with, or whatever...

..remember..

..they are trying their best and might just have a really rough day/week/month/year/life.

Not saying that it isn't their responsibility to take care of themselves too, nor am I saying it's your job to help/fix them, nor is it that you should feel like you can be pushed over/you need to constantly sacrifice and take a hit, just that sometimes a little sympathy, letting things go, or offering a little gesture goes a long way.

Be kind.

Efficiency OCD and to give space to serendipity and recharge

Efficiency ocd, might just be pretty German, but also why I am where I am bc I might have pushed it too much. 

Context:
Like when my gf cleans the dishes and some step in there might only require 1/could be done faster, that’s when I get uncomfortable and feel like we are wasting time and need to mention it. Especially in situations when other ppl are negatively affected. Here I guess the “how negatively affected” is the personal scale that is a bit more sensitive for me, again, not only for me but other ppl in general. Like I have that for waiters too. If a waiter comes to your table and asks what you want and the group is clearly not ready yet but no one gives either a visual or verbal cue to the waiter, so he/she just stands there waiting, I feel like is a waste of that person's time. Or when you go to the cashier with your groceries, clearly knowing that at the end you will need to get your wallet out and pay, how come you don’t get your wallet out before, instead of packing the groceries first and then needing to get it out from the bottom of your backpack on the back? Can’t you get it before while waiting in line and just doing nothing? Ideally you also know how much money and coins you have, so you know if you pay by card or cash and if you have a coin or two for the small cash vs looking for “imo” a useless moment for everyone else.

Maybe that is also where my project management comes from and how to align every single piece to come out at the right time aligning with other timelines. There I need to be aware that especially project mgmt in product management can not be “standardised” but needs free room. Not in a way that there should be no process, but if a step takes longer, or new information comes up, be more flexible and be aware of the magic of free mental space and serendipity, so that needs to be given space vs pushing for cuts and a timeline. I think I didn’t do a too bad job here, just sth where I think I can be even better in leading.

So also in daily life, not efficiently planning everything and every minute, but giving free space. Also just to feel what’s going on and how you feel. Like do you just run from a to b and not thinking if you actually want to go to b? Sounds a bit dumb, but just asking the question more + before saying yes to stuff, rather asking if you want to do that at all. Know what is good for you and don’t bring yourself into the situation for saying no last minute, but give yourself the time, even if you would like to do it, sometimes you need to prioritise a recharge.

First web scraper ✔️

Call me 2014 while everyone is into crypto, AI, ML, ... but holy moly, it is actually done - I can't believe it.

Well, not really done, but what the heck, I built my first scraper. Time to give myself a clap on the back.


I can't recall when I started learning about coding the first time. Potentially 8 years ago maybe. Oh, actually 17 years ago, when I was 14 or so in high school. The high school was actually - in retrospect and in this aspect - progressive and we did study R back then. Not that I remember a single command of R, but that's not the point.

After that I guess 8 years ago with Codecademy back when it was I think completely free. Every since I did the classic HTML and CSS classes, started Python ~4x and "finished 2x. SQL, also done! Think I have 22% of JavaScript. So basically, hire me as your new senior dev!

I can't build shit. And also, for my job specifically I would not need to. I think product manager or growth folks don't need to be able to code. Yes, an understanding is good and you should at least "get" it to some extent. Not only to be able to tell when devs are bullshitting, but rather to truly understand their perspective and why your teammates think something takes a longer time.

However, especially over the last two years, the more and more also the no code movement grew, I felt I want to be able to do more myself. Zapier is awesome, Airtable is awesome, others are awesome. Also, dev resources are limited. But not only from a professional perspective, also for personal projects (that might become something, maybe not), I just personally wanted to be able to get data from a website. And today, well, I did it!

For what you ask? Some examples:
1. When I was trying to find the cheapest connection from Germany (3 airports) to different countries in Central America (bc hadn't yet decided where I would go) and with flexible traveling dates => find me the cheapest option
2. calorie trackers out there are hideous. give me the data and let me build a nicer one => would still need a developer for this, don't want to get that much into it;)
3. i am looking for a new apartment => send me a notification (email whatev) when there is a new apartment online that matches my criteria
4. ...

...


...well, maybe that's it. Idk, but feels good to be able to automate stuff. Not only scraping but over time entering/pushing information and also when data is being pulled how to analyse it and build dashboards. Because that is actually something I missed being able to do. Extract data from different APIs/data sources, bring it together into a database and analyse it.


One step at a time.

Process of getting your cross band fixed

This cross band injury (ACL, ligamentum cruciatum anterius) has been sort of a mess up since the start.


January 2017

After having gained weight, I finally was like "ok, either you start playing football again as a workout regime or there is no end". I started at a team which was playing 1-2 leagues higher than I used to play. By now, I am 29 and the last time I played football full time was in 2011 (until 2013 with on and off, half serious efforts, also 2015-2016 I sorta played in a fun league with max 1x practice / week). Meaning, I have more adult years without playing soccer than being active.

First week started with one week training and 2 weeks being off, because my body and especially legs were like "hell no, start slower".

April 2017

By now, I have been in the rhythm and was getting more and more into it. I didn't fully manage the first team, because of my overweight status, so was practicing 2x at the second team, 1x with the first team and games for the 2nd team. Also not full 90min, but getting 15-45min here and there.

Berlin is known for artificial turf, so that's what I've been playing on for 2years now. Then, as summer approached, we went on to the green. Damn, that was nice, but it was also with the first team, so I was especially eager. My body, not being used to the green in other body movements necessary, I twisted my knee. I continued playing, as practice was almost over. When I got home, knee was hurting badly and so it did the next day.

I went to the doctor who said it looks like the meniscus. Well, I rested for two weeks again, but the season was almost over already and I hardly did any games in bc of small injuries and travels. So I was like, damn, I need to play otherwise they would not want me to show up again for the next season. After 2 weeks rest, I got back, couldn't fully get into it, but tried to get some games in to at least show my value. Also worked, but then I needed to show the white flag and tell that my leg doesn't feel comfortable and I need to stop until I know what's the issue.

The doctor meanwhile just said to rest it.

September-November 2017

By now, I got back to my original doctor at the praxis and he was like "still not better? well then why didn't we have made a MRT scan." I only had some physio in-between, but nothing helped. The MRT scan showed, yes, meniscus has an issue, but only bc it is compensating for the cross band. Doctor was like "If you want to go back to being fully capable doing any sports, I'd recommend getting the surgery, but you should get a second opinion". I went to another doctor, who said the same. Considering I was already in that state for >6months, he said that basically I now know how it would be without any surgery and that I can pick any time when I want it to happen - like within the next 1,5 years, so it's not getting to far out. I was not yet sure, when to do it and thought I would do it early 2018.

Dec 2017 - Aug 2018

I started going to BeCycle (HIIT + spinning) and have been organising bodyweight HIIT classes during lunch times at work. Then I thought I could also become a coach, considering I can't do running or other stuff myself. I applied and got the job. With that I was like "damn, I already have my foot in the door, would be stupid not to build on that but have the surgery now and start from scratch later on again". So, I ended up postponing surgery until August and rather continued teaching and getting a certificate.


Rundown at the hospital:

- Thursday: one day before the surgery, getting to the hospital to get surgery pre-check

- no one told me this would take 4hrs, completely messing up my last day at work, bc somehow doctors imagine clients to think we got all the time?

- also, they finally told me when my surgery is - one day before. Again, ok that I take the day off, but if you want someone to come with you, sorta nice to know what time they should block

- Luisa was so nice to join on the day of the surgery and prepped a fucking awesome snack bocks. Arriving at 7am at the hospital, nothing to do.

- 7.30am, here is your room. be back in roughly 30min

- back in 30min, now we are in a rush, bc I should have been there earlier

- getting the knee shaved, putting on my patient dress, jumping into bed where the "hospital taxi guy" picked me up

- first sign of underlying problem, he didn't know anything else besides. pick person X up from Y and bring to location Z

- then I spent ~45min in the awakening room, where 4 nurses were discussing how to position my bed, "head that way or that way? it's not nice to look at the wall" => makes me feel great to know you have everything under control

- two other doctors, or pre surgery doctors came over and asked me who I am and for what I am here. After explaining, they left, as I was not the person they were looking for. Cool, only professionals here.

- Another guy came and finally it was a match. Put me on another cot and drove me down into the basement which looked like a bad horror movie.

- then I met my anesthetist which was eventually the first person to clearly know what's happening, who I am and made me feel everything is under control. not that I was worried, bc I didn't want to stress, but that was good either way

- after a failed attempt to pee, I was just lying there, waiting to get into the surgery. heart rate checks and first liquid getting into my body. waiting for our go to start

- ~9.30am anesthetist comes comes back, gives the sign and instructs her helper to give me 20ml of x and some ml of sth else. then she tells me that it gets a bit warm, fuzzy, I should think of sth nice. next thing I know is waking up in the awakening room again

- 11.25am. a nurse realizes I wake up, she comes over and asks me how much of a pain I am in from 1-10. Pain is not overwhelming, but pretty severe/heavy. Think I said 6. She gives me some more pain killers.

- Since I know that Luisa needs to head out at 12pm I tell her to please call upstairs that everything is alright and she can leave and write my parents too

- I change between sleeping and being in some sort of wake state for another 1.5hrs. Also my doctor came by telling me how well everything went and showing me pictures while I was clearly not there yet. also, thanks doc for not replying to my emails and calls the last 1.5 weeks.

- Then at 1pm they send me upstairs where I still see Luisa and think "damn nurses, you had one job".

- I tell Luisa she can go, call Per (2nd shift) there is no need to come and to tell my parents. Then I pass out again for another 3 hours.

- Once I wake up, I still have some blood wires coming out of my knee and I won't go up that day.

- Watching some soccer with my neighbour who earns as much as I pay rent apparently. was a nice guy, and interesting to hear his perspectives. i.e. he votes left but thinks it's good that the AfD is in the parliament

- watching soccer, hearing women getting babies - fuck me, poor women!!

- no ones knows from others

- no crutches for me lol!


I'm outta here, eating Mexican now!