Don't take people for granted

This one is a special. A special, because it's a shoutout to Ben fucking Nolan!

Sometimes, you just need an accountability partner, someone that pushes you or create a system that works for you.

Well, Ben said he would donate for a monthly subscription, if I write 5 pieces a week. And well, here we are. Ben just became my first Patreon, so I guess: it's on!

Thanks Ben for pushing, I do appreciate it! Big L! #grateful


ps: don't take those people in your life for granted (i.e. send them a gif every once in a while to let them know you think of them).



What does *failing* even mean/stand for?

Not sure if you noticed, but the recent years have been pretty hard on *you need to fail to move forward* and *there is no success without failure*. In fact, there has been so much about it that even P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, or however that dude calls himself these days mentioned it in a commencement speech.

Somewhere I even read that people starting to being proud of failing and bragging with it, as some sort of award and reassurement of being on the right track compared everyone else who is not failing.

Don't get me wrong, not everything will work out in your life. Doesn't matter if you end up successfully or not, either way, things will not go how you expected them to be. So yes, you will learn by not accomplishing sth you wanted to accomplish (at least for a couple of times or you decide to go another way). To get some solid backup and paraphrase Thomas Edison: *I discovered 1,000 ways to not make a lightbulb.*
(Because your argument will become indefinitely stronger once you have a successful quote supporting it)

Anyway, the point is and sentiment I am trying to convey, 1) why celebrate it and 2) why call it failure in the first place?

1) Why celebrate it
Coming back to my point before, you are not becoming a master just because you fail 1000x. If you don't have an action plan behind it and/or get smarter after each time, or actually try to accomplish sth you want to accomplish, then well, you will continue to *fail*. It's not cool to *fail*.

2) Why call it failure in the first place
It's way cooler to learn, study and discover new things. Things is also rather the mental programming I like to use for myself. It's not that I am failing or anyone. We do things - either with or without thinking behind it - that will help us accomplish sth. If the results than don't turn out how we wanted them to turn out, why not, what did go differently than we thought it would and what needs to change for a better outcome next time?

Never stop learning. And when something doesn't turn out how you expected it to be, what can you learn from it?

It's true. If everything you do turns out as you expect it, you likely not learning anything, because, well, apparently you already new. Doesn't mean it's a failure.


Go out, enjoy life and make mistakes.


About building products

The product lead is responsible to find the overlap between
1. Business: where does the leadership want to go/where to make money
2. Users: what do users want/what needs do they have
3. Tech: what can/makes sense for you to build and is it possible/with what effort

By that definition, you will always be in a compromise of all those. The more you can create an overlap, the better. However, it's pretty sure that non of those will be 100% overlapping.

What the PM then needs to do, is to find where there is the biggest overlap and ROI-effort-ratio and hammer that home.

Compound Interest

I've been digging into mental models recently again. Especially in the light that I kind of dropped a lot of habits and found it hard to get back into them.

While reading, I re-found the concept of compound interest. Basically: if you keep investing into certain activities, they will pay off eventually.

Meaning, "people are rewarded in public for what they practice for years in private".

If you manage to read 20min on a Sunday, that's great. The benefit of reading however will only come once you do it more frequently.

If you manage to meditate 1x per month, that's a great start. The benefit of meditation however will only be noticed once you do it more frequently.

Just knowing and being aware of that concept gave me inspiration, strength and determination of investing more into those little actions that will add up and eventually help me become a better person.


Wrapping up the day now with my journal and reading. Namaste

Letting your guard down - the power of vulnerability

I've recently heard a couple of people speaking about going home for Christmas and how much they enjoy that time because they can completely let down their guard and feel home. Obviously I understand, and there is the a special feeling many only get at home (considering you have a good relationship with your parents/they are still together etc).

However, what I am trying to get is: why is that?

What do you feel different at home? Because you are accepted as you are? Because no one will hold a grudge against you? No expectation to fulfil? You can be you without any judgement?

Now, while there are certainly people on this earth you don't need to be close with, you should generally be around people who you can be your true self with and who won't judge, but rather want you to be you and show your full self.

Purposely pick people who are happy with themselves (or maybe not), but will never put you down because of any self serving or other reasons bc of own insecurities. On the other side, you can also create this environment. By opening up, you allow/signal others that is absolutely ok to open up. That's the power, magic and contagiousness of vulnerability. That's when you suddenly see a dynamic, tone & body language change of a person and you know they are actually being themselves now. Truly.

Now, I am not talking about the uncomfortable oversharing self-deprecation, but your true genuine open and trusting self.

1. Spend time with people who give you that feeling, where you can feel home and yourself
2. Purposely decide to open up more and create those special bonds

This way you might end up with similar levels of deep connection and unconditional support/relationship as you have with your parents/other loved ones.