No Day Without A Thought

The other day I was listening to the podcast with the author of zenhabits.com (link here).

One of the main take aways (and there were many), was that I could finally visualize and somehow vocalize what was in my head for a long time: why there are so many people not improving themselves.

Or let me put it in other words: rationalizing stupid behavior (we all do, but some just more), or are driven by ego, are not completely genuine, make mean jokes about others to feel better, strive for money without any intrinsic motivation, or generally exploring themselves and why they do what they do.

Now, before I continue, let me make one thing clear: it is tough and I think I used to already be a few steps ahead than I am right now. I am no expert and especially in the last year I've neglected a lot of that, i.e. self care, spending time on myself, going through processes/questions, digging deeper, decisions based on values, let by curiosity <> fear etc. - I rather spent the time not facing certain topics, not making commitments, time in front of the TV instead of books, time "wasting" on social media instead of journaling, saying yes to too many activities instead of blocking time for mind wondering.

So, I get it, it's time consuming, but mostly, it is energy consuming and mostly comes with some sort of responsibility/commitment to yourself and fear of change. Because, once you start digging and finding things out, you will face issues that were rationalized previously and now that you are aware of them, instead of unconsciously carrying them around and letting them influence your behavior without you knowing, well, you know them. Meaning, you might need to make changes in your life, let it be your lifestyle, financial choices, friend circles, ...

To illustrate I spent a lot of time making this complicated chart:

In the beginning, I guess, you will go through a valley. Or, if you are the positive curious one, might see it as an adventure and go straight up. As counter argument: I guess that doesn't happen too often, that's why many haven't done it in the first place.

Some years ago, I was in a Silent Retreat on Bali and a one girl arrived in the afternoon. Considering the name of the place, she couldn't talk to anyone any activities were rare. She ended up crying through the whole night and left the next morning. Now, I don't know what she's been through, maybe she has already done a serious amount of self exploration and thought she might find some peace in the environment. Or, she never was in such an environment, not being surrounded by external stimulation and finally facing herself.

Again, not sure about her specifically, but generally I think many people are hiding, not being honest to themselves, hence not to other and are being influenced by themselves.

Take the leap, you will end up better!

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” - Carl Jung

"The first task of behavior change is awareness. Your habits will run your life whether you realize it or not. This is true for habits of thinking (beliefs, self-image, social norms) and habits of acting (daily rituals, mindless routines). Awareness provides the chance for change." - James Clear

Ever found yourself in endless research about what to do about a certain decision?

Looking for books, articles, previous experience from others?

Obviously, you don't want to be naive and learn from others. On the other side, you are looking for confidence to give yourself the permission to make a decision.

However, there is no single moment that exactly repeats itself. So even though there might be patterns, you will never know 100% of the outcome, so don't wait for the confidence.

When making decisions, try to come from a place of curiosity not fear. I mean, in most situations you not gonna lose anything. Taking the wrong job? Well, quit and apply for the other one again (or do it while remaining in the position). The key again is coming out of curiosity and making a decision and learning from it. 

If you take it as learning and finding out if that's what you wanted, will help you instead coming out of fear. Just keep in mind a) you don't need to stick with that decision necessarily and b) no one knows if it was the "right" decisions. I mean, are you in a parallel universe where you can see how the other way would have turned out?

Man, that would be great, or would it? Anyway, you don't have it. So there is no right and wrong per se - just learning and improving. And that's fine. Don't beat yourself up too much and enjoy it.

This weekend saw the premiere of Naval on Periscope. He did a random Q&A just to try out the platform. 

The beginning is crypto heavy, but there is a lot to take away - so luckily someone did a summary.

If you don't trust summaries, there is also a recording.

https://www.pscp.tv/w/1eaKbqrWloRxX#

Roughly in June 2013 I bought my first Bitcoins. I only spent €10 or so, so it's not really a big deal.

I mean, at some point it would have been worth €2,000 or so (but who is counting)...

Considering there was now a significant drop for basically every of the major cryptocurrencies, there is a big backlash happening again and people finally having there moments of "I told you so". Well, maybe they are right. But on the other side, and honestly I don't know why, the crypto market always has a drop in the beginning of the year. So it might be nothing else than seasonal effects.

And people are right, there is coins popping up for everything, BananaCoin, or my favorite Dogecoin. Coins will in the end only be worth something, if the technology that is used behind is actually useful. So figure out if the blockchain technology actually makes sense for what coins are being advertised for.

Also, make sure you understand the limitations behind the infrastructure, i.e. Bitcoin can only handle 7 transactions per second and Ethereum provides developers with way more flexibility than Bitcoin does. And with that knowledge I am likely barely scratching the surface.

With a bit of research, listening to podcasts and similarly, pick the ones the sound reasonable and play the long-term game, not that day trading stuff that makes you greedy and miserable.

Blockchain and crypto is a big thing, and at least everyone understands that no one has all the answers yet or how it will end up looking/shaping society. But there is lots of potential, and if that potential becomes true (and it has a chance to accomplish that), then I want to see how far my little $$ will get me

Recently, on one of those oversea flights, as I entered the airplane, stored my carry on, made myself comfortable, my fingers immediately switched on the video library to scan the selection and star the movies which will be responsible for me not falling asleep.

(I hardly watch full movies in my day to day life, so somehow I feel like I need to power through those times. No need to understand that.)

Besides the classics and new blockbusters, there was suddenly Heath Ledger's face. For context, I never really followed him. The only movies I watched with him were "The Patriot" (mostly for war and Mel Gibson though, at least back then) and "Batman: The Dark Knight" (and I didn't know it was him until someone told me or I looked it up). I knew who he was and that he became famous through other movies like "10 things I hate about you" or the controversial "Brokeback Mountain", but never really followed him or was up-to-date who he is. 

When he died, it was big and plenty of people praised how talented he was, as well as a good human being. Also, he was a father (who knew!?). So I was, damn, bummer he is gone.

So once I saw his face and that there is a documentary about his life, I was intrigued and actually started with it right away.

I am not gonna talk too much about it, but honestly, I was mesmerised and damn that he is gone. It does seem like he was a pure artist, good human being and pushing the boundaries. He built a community of friends and was welcoming to everyone. Now, obviously, such documentaries have a certain angle and not everything is mentioned, but he seemed pretty humble, down to earth and knowing what he wants/fully going for it.

He inspired me by his easiness, being simple, constantly producing/creating, sharing, being there for people, wanting the best for everyone in his life, having values, in line with what he wants, and absolutely dedicated to his role and profession or whatever he worked on - that unfortunately maybe a bit too much or too much insecurities, who knows.

Watching that just made me want to smile more, create more, be more in peace, do good to the world. and stand behind everything I do. 

In that sense: "Keep it real and not too serious." - Heath Ledger