What you stand for

The nights I am sitting in front of my laptop to hit the keyboard, thinking about what I should write, I always come back to

- (emotional) self awareness
- self esteem
- self control
- actively/purposely choosing happiness and trust vs negativity and accusation
- radical transparency
- complete ownership of action and emotions

Get your own head and emotions in order, or at least be curious about why all that is. Don't be too harsh on yourself and don't judge, just come with a positive mindset saying "here, this is me today, I am not perfect, but I am happy with who I am and the decisions I've done until now. I want to improve and seek new knowledge and have my worldviews challenged and expanded by other people's wisdom and experience, let's bet better together. In that process I expect respect/tolerance, letting be, support and curiosity as base to open up."

You don't need to be right and what works for you is not what works for others. Disagreeing is fine, as long as the fundaments are not being violated, i.e. purposely hurting someone.

By being your true self, opening up, showing your vulnerability/weaknesses/mistakes and owning them you show that you are a human. Not being emotional sabotaging/challenging, people around you will appreciate your authentic and honest being and will do respond in a similar manner which is a great base to create a truly amazing bond.

Let your guard down and be you. No need to lie your way out to keep a fake self image, i.e. reacting defensively to feedback, because you think the other person has no idea or it is against your self protection, or for example there is a history with your father. Own it. People feel when something is off and will know they can't open up to you, because you reacted that way. There is sth hidden and the person doesn't know why which makes them suspicious.

The real, vulnerable and curious person would say "Thank you. I know you didn't mean it that way, I just have a background story to that with my dad and he told me this multiple times which actually effected me a lot and was the reason that I've been insecure for years. Could you explain what you exactly meant, so I can finally get past this."

Damn, without giving myself a clap, but if I would hear a person respond that way I would be like "damn, they have their shit together, I want to be like that." This is inspiring and would clearly illustrate that you can come to this person with every topic, no matter what. A trustworthy person who is fine with speaking about themselves without a hidden agenda or playing games.

Obviously, there is likely always sth going on, but the decision to stay curious and not judging, picking positivity and trust will bring you on a great path which will make life so much easier and happier.


ps. "easier" also comes from a conversation I recently had about work. Imagine complete trust across the team, there is no time wasted with asking "how should I lead the conversation, was that too rude" etc, because everyone is on the same page, trusts and wants to best for the other person and knows that feeling is mutual.
Same clearly applies to the personal life.