Today's date is January 9, 2017.
New Year's Resolution is a big thing and the newsfeed was fuller than ever with self help advice. Granted, since I follow a bunch of accounts on different platforms, I get them frequently anyway, but now it seemed more dominant for sure.
Not that I am focused on new year goals, but the holidays and mood ahead of the holidays bring together a nice environment to reflect. I've been quite low on my self management for the last year. Basically after being in a normal startup work environment, achieving my marathon goal and having an own place, I realize how I settled more.
This settling impacted also my eagerness for new things and I got more comfortable. Additionally, I established quite a lot of good habits and mind models, so I felt fine. However, more and more I lost my path and all the good traits I worked so hard to incorporate in my live and basically myself. Overworking and the need to proof helped to lose them.
I realized how unfocused I was, or actually no, I didn't. I was in the hamster wheel. I also lost patience, didn't have as many social activities as I should have and I also constantly basically showed myself I am not worth me time. Not that I am not worth it, but always deprioritized it and put other things on top of that.
So I got sick over the holidays and since I didn't take a slower pace, my body took it. Besides, I started doing specific things on purpose again, like my morning routine (mostly quick exercises for 5min, stretching 5min, meditation 10min, journaling 3min). Not that I don't know of the benefit of those habits, but waking up and starting to work seemed just like a better use of the rare time.
Also in the evening. Prepping the next days, knowing what's there to be done. As simple as that.
There is a couple of points outstanding. Unfortunately, I have an injured shoulder for 2months which clearly helps not having a balance + I can spend more time on food and cooking. But I am getting there.
Just with those things, I found myself often these days questioning what I am actually doing right now. Was this what I wanted to do? Did I want to do that? I am still writing 2-3 to do lists for a day. Always adjusting to new changes or just reminding myself on another piece of paper. But I am again getting aware of all that and not just stupidly following my actions without thinking.
Actually, now that I write it it seems odd and if someone else should read this it might seem like I don't get anything done. Not true actually, but now I probably get things done with less stress. I still feel that sometimes the smallest thing overwhelm me, but probably because I need to catch up with a couple of things I haven't managed to do previously. Like registering my apartment, booking trips to a wedding etc. - I basically need to empty my RAM memory, get daily breaks/time for myself and also schedule some real offtime soon.
But, I am getting there and it feels good. Writing this hopefully makes me more aware of it as well and reinforces the development.